Thinking
by ginmc
Summary: A collection of one shots. Some will be dark and broody, others will be lemony or sweet. Hopefully, all will be interesting!


**AN: This "story" is going to be a collection of one shots featuring different characters in the Twilight world. I have a couple ready that just need to be edited and typed up. The inspiration for this one comes from Ed Sheeran's song Thinking out Loud. I hope you enjoy!**

**We Found Love Right Where We Are**

**Edward**

My fingers fly across the keys of the piano as I play Bella's lullaby. I find little solace in the exercise as I let my memories of her flood my mind. Too few. There are too few memories, my time with her was a mere snippet, compared to my vast lifetime.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, but I ignore it, playing the lullaby twice more before finally answering.

"Alice." I state simply, my voice the flat, monotone it has been for the past 53 years.

"Edward, she's asking for you. It's time, you should come now."

I don't ask any questions. I simply crush the phone in my hand and watch the pieces fall to the floor.

I attempt to keep my mind blank as I gather what I need for the trip to Forks. No need to overthink things.

I drive as fast as I can, striving to get there as quickly as possible, trying not to think.

My mind slips into the past, anyway.

...

Leaving her all those years ago was the biggest mistake of my existence, including the time I spent away from Carlisle, letting the monster inside of me take over, indulging in

the blood of the ones I found guilty of horrendous deeds. That was nothing compared to leaving her.

When I had returned, I was too late. She had moved on. Isn't that what I had wanted? For Bella to be happy, and live a long, normal life? Yes, but that didn't make it any easier to find her with Jacob Black when I finally came to my senses, when I realized that my life wasn't worth living without her.

I had tried to be inconspicuous and leave before she even knew I had returned, but it didn't take long for the wolf to sniff me out. And he wasn't going to let me leave so easily.

Instead of tearing me to shreds, which I would have welcomed, he insisted I talk to her. Apparently, he needed to know without a doubt that she chose him, that he wasn't just a consolation prize. Between dealing with Victoria and watching Bella war with herself, trying to choose between myself and Jacob, the months that ensued were torturous.

I wasn't surprised when she chose him.

She told me she loved me, and I could tell she wasn't lying. Bella was horrible at lying. As much as she loved me, it didn't matter. She knew without a doubt that Jacob would never leave her like I had. An imprint is a strong thing. It would've broken Jacob if she had chose me, and despite what Bella thinks of herself, she is not a selfish creature.

I distanced myself from my own family after that. Alice and Rosalie continued to be a part of her life and it was too painful to see her life play out in their memories; the simple but beautiful Quileute wedding, Bella getting her first book published, the birth of their first child. It was all too much for me.

I became a recluse. Teaching college courses online, reading and rereading her books, playing the piano, hunting only when absolutely necessary, repeat. The years slipped by slowly and torturously, awaiting the call that would undoubtedly one day come.

…

Jacob opens the door, barely looking a day over fifty, and invites me in. He doesn't say a word as he leads me through their beautiful home. Bella and Jacob had done very well for themselves. Bella had written and published a dozen novels and a myriad of children's books and Jacob had opened a body shop that specialized in restoring antique cars. But the house wasn't over the top, it was simple and decorated with photos and family memorabilia. It screamed Bella in every way.

As he leads me through the large family room I try to block all the thoughts coming from her loved ones. They are all thinking of her, recalling their best memories. And then they're obviously curious of the teenage boy coming to say good-bye to their mother, grandmother, aunt, sister. Yes, several of them think of Bella as their sister. On;y a few of them know who I am.

Jacob opens the door to the master bedroom and motions for me to enter. Alice is sitting at one side of the bed and Rosalie at the other. They walk over and embrace me before exiting the room, leaving me alone with Bella

The door clicks shut and I walk slowly to her side. I glance at the picture on her bedside table. A family portrait of Bella and Jacob in front of the house with their 5 children, taken when the youngest was still a baby, probably about 35 years ago. The love they share is undeniable and as much as I wish it could have been me, I'm glad she got this wonderful life. I couldn't have given her any of this.

Finally, I take in her appearance. She's still my Bella, even at the age of seventy with a body riddled of cancer. When I take her hand in mine her deep brown eyes flutter open at the touch of my ice cold hand.

"Edward?" She asks with surprise in her voice.

"It's me," my voice cracks with emotion.

"You came." She says quietly, her chest heaving with the difficulty of breathing and talking at the same time.

"Of course I came. Alice said you were asking for me."

She nods and pats the empty space in the bed beside her. I hesitate momentarily, thinking about what Jacob would think, before I climb into the bed beside her. She's on her deathbed and she wants me to be close to her, who am I to deny her?

I lay my head on her chest and listen to her beating heart. Suddenly, I'm transported to our meadow and I hope she's thinking of the same perfect moment. At least we found love, as brief as our time together was.

"I never stopped loving you." She whispers, a tear trickling down her cheek.

And it's the truth, Bella never could tell a lie to save her life, after all.

"Thank you for letting me go, for letting me have this life."

I nod and pull away slightly, only to kiss her lips gently.

Within a few minutes her eyes flutter shut. I kiss her one last time and then climb out of the bed, careful not to jostle her frail body.

Jacob is waiting just outside the bedroom door, as soon as I exit he takes his place at her side.

I concentrate on her unsteady heartbeat as I walk back through the house and out the front door.

I make it down the steps before I hear her heart falter and then stop.

I fall to my knees as the one thing that anchored me to earth ceases to exist.

If I had a heart, there is no doubt in my mind that it would stop at the exact same moment as hers.

But as it is, I'll go on existing.

And maybe someday, I'll find a way to die, too.

...

**AN: I'm sorry this first one had to be dark, but I just couldn't get it out of my head. Happier and naughtier one shots are on the way though. To all of you that have read my other fics, I plan to update them soon. I'm sorry it's been so long!**


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